When a baby is born, so is a mother

Hi! I’m Andrea, Motherhood Coach and the founder of Made to Mother Co.

I help pregnant women and mothers who are worried, stressed and overwhelmed by the transition to motherhood learn how to prepare emotionally and mentally for the evolution of their identity so they can be the best version of themselves.  

I’m sharing my personal motherhood journey with you so you know that you aren’t alone, and that there are ways to embrace and celebrate your changing identity.

I was in the middle of my first pregnancy when the pandemic started and Australia closed its borders. I saw this time as an opportunity to read, watch, listen and consume as much as I could about pregnancy and childbirth.  No resource was off limits – my aim was to understand all of the voices in the marketplace and have a deep understanding of their concepts so that I would feel prepared for whatever situations came my way.  I listened to podcasts, read books about pregnancy and childbirth, scoured medical journals, and even looked at social media posts by mommy-bloggers and took in non-experts’ opinions.  I pinned my ideas on Pinterest, scanned the walls of Facebook groups, and spoke to friends and family.

As I’m sure you’ve found, there is so much information out there about pregnancy and childbirth! But, I also realised, there aren’t many clear guides on the post-partum period or the transition into motherhood.  As my pregnancy (and the pandemic) progressed, I found myself having way more time than ever before to just think and be, instead of being in a constant state of “doing”.  All of a sudden, I found myself obsessing internally about this impending change to my identity.

I wondered if I’d like being a mother

I questioned if I would lose my identity entirely.  I thought about all of my career aspirations and immediately worried that motherhood could be the dramatic demise of my corporate life.  I wondered how my relationship with my husband would change. It felt to me like pregnancy was the shortest ramp-up time for a new career that lasts a lifetime, and yet no one was saying this out loud.  

I set out to learn everything I could about motherhood and the changes a woman experiences when she encounters this pivotal change in life. 

Even though we had planned for this pregnancy, I was still surprised when I got that positive pregnancy test.  It took me about 6 months to really even come to terms with the concept of pregnancy.  I wasn’t exactly sure when that ‘natural mothering instinct’ I had heard so much about would kick in and I spent a lot of time expecting to just wake up “ready” and feeling like a mom.  By the time I finally started to feel used to the constant physical, mental, and emotional changes and started to accept this constant state of flux, our baby girl arrived. She arrived a little over a week from her estimated due date. It felt like I had been given that extra week to really “plan” for how I’d feel.  I still did not immediately feel like a mother.

What is becoming a mother meant to feel like?

In speaking to hundreds of women, I realised that the story women have been told for so long is a lie.  Becoming a mother is not just one quick moment in time – it’s not just a positive pregnancy test, or feeling the first little kicks, or the moment your child enters the world. It’s a process.  It’s a transition.  It’s an entire season of life.  I learned that there’s even a word for this transition.  It’s called matrescence.  Matrescence, like adolescence, is the radical identity shift a woman undergoes as she becomes a mother.  It is a developmental journey from pre-conception, pregnancy and birth, surrogacy or adoption, to the postpartum period and beyond.

I’ve made a number of changes in my life and learned a lot of lessons about being the best version of myself through periods of my life where there was no clear path.  I’ve changed careers, moved around the world and started from scratch, and became a mother for the first time during a global pandemic.  Throughout this journey I’ve found the tools that have helped me tap into my happiness, resilience and self-worth. 

I created Made to Mother Co with the hopes of inspiring and empowering women to take hold of their lives and their futures.  To let them know that they’re not alone in wondering what motherhood “should” feel like, and instead embracing the realities of their version of motherhood.  I want women to shed the feelings of uncertainty and worry, the self-judgment and the lack of self-confidence by giving them the tools they need to be the best version of themself.

Want to learn more?

Check my Motherhood Coaching programs